10 Questions to Enhance Your Character Relationships
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
Recently I was reading a novel where the characters were flat. They talked, they did stuff, but aside from the opening scene (which was pretty compelling), they seemed to be cardboard people propelled around for the sake of the plot.
In a novel, characters existed before the start of the story. And their previous relationships with other people deeply influenced them, just as ours have influenced us. But we rarely think about this when writing; we tend to focus on the character’s current relationships,unless a previous one is specific to the story.
But spending some time investigating our main character’s previous relationships can illuminate a lot about their present beliefs, attitudes, and worldview. It can give us clues how they would react to current people in their lives and what they would do in certain situations, in a way that feels organic to their character.
Most of this backstory may never appear on the page - or it may find its way into the story in surprising and satisfying ways.
Some of these may only require a sentence or two to answer. Others may merit a paragraph, or even a scene. I encourage you to go deep. Write beyond the clichés.
What was their relationship with their parents - together, and separately?
Did they have siblings? If so, who were they? What were those relationships like? If they were an only child, what was that like? Did they have cousins or lots of friends in the neighborhood? Or were they surrounded mostly by adults?
Were there other family members present in their lives? Grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins etc. If they were close, how did that relationship influence them?
Did they have a best friend? What was that relationship like? (Friendships are often defining for us in terms of molding our identities).
Were they popular in school? A loner? Bullied? Happy with their own small clique?How did they treat others? A social butterfly or happiest with a few close friends?
Did they have a favorite teacher? A teacher they hated? Why?
Did they have friendships or connections outside of school - a sports team, summer camp, church group, or other activity that provided some defining relationships, either with peers or adults?
Who was their first romantic relationship? What did they learn from that? How did they see themselves differently afterward?
Were they a big reader? Were there any characters that influenced them in a big way?
Did they/do they have any heroes? Why do they admire this person?
The older they are, of course, the more relationships they will have had. But usually most of our most defining relationships happen before age 25 or so, in terms of how they influence our adult selves. Of course, children, spouses, and work relationships are significant - and if your character is older, they will also have had a significant impact.
These are not all of the possible relationships that may have influenced your character, of course. You may think of others you want to explore. Have fun with this! If you’re stuck, or a character doesn't seem to be coming to life in the way you want, try this exercise and see if anything emerges that relates to the current story.
That is the trick, of course. You may come up with things that you’re suddenly dying to find a way to squeeze into the current story. It’s important to make sure that anything you put in has a reason to be there. It must enhance the story in some way if it’s going to appear directly. It can certainly influence the character’s current relationships, but it may be subtle.
We’re all in a web of relationships that have and continue to influence each other. Bringing more of these dynamics into your story will make your characters more interesting and their stories more lively and compelling.
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