Omniscient vs. Deep 3rd Person Point of View: How to Write for Maximum Impact
Photo by Alex Bracken on Unsplash
Recently I saw a post in an online forum by a writer who had completed an entire novel, and sent it out to agents with the usual high hopes of representation. The thing is, she wrote it entirely in omniscient point of view.
Unsurprisingly, she got no offers, but she did get a response from an agent who explained that omniscient pov is decidedly out of fashion. She needed to rewrite her book in close 3rd person in order for it to sell in today’s market. She could write it in multiple pov, but each had to be close-in. In other words, the reader has to know and understand each character intimately, from that character’s own pov.
The writer was understandably overwhelmed at the thought of rewriting an entire novel in a completely different pov. If she had understood the market better, she might have done it from the beginning, and saved herself a lot of time and trouble. Of course, she may choose not to make the change. She can keep trying to sell it traditionally, and hope someone likes it as-is. Or she can self-publish and try to find an audience that appreciates omniscient pov.
If you’re submitting to agents or editors and getting feedback that they just can’t connect with the character, you’re probably writing omniscient pov. It’s more detached, so harder to warm up to the characters. It can also lend itself to too much exposition, dragging the narrative momentum of the story down.
But what does it even mean to write “close 3rd person” vs. omniscient? The differences can be subtle. A quick recap:
Omniscient point of view is when the author tells the story from the point of view of an objective observer. It’s “zoomed out” to reveal the thoughts and feelings of the characters. It’s the narrator’s (not a character’s) pov:
Jenna and Julie walked through the empty house, following the real estate agent as she droned on about new flooring, old plumbing, and the leaky roof that would need attending to sooner rather than later. The floors were scuffed and stained. The ceilings sagged. Every room was painted a different color. There was a musty smell throughout. “But is has great bones!” she said brightly, stopping in the cramped kitchen that looked like it had last been updated in 1975. Jenna wondered if this was really all they could afford. She exchanged a quick glance with her partner, hoping to confirm the “please, no” she felt in her own gut. But Julie’s face was a polite mask, and Jenna didn’t know if that meant she hated it, or was actually considering it.
Close 3rd person point of view is when the author stays within the head of one point of view character, and we see the scene entirely from that person’s thoughts and feelings:
Jenna let Julie go first as they walked through the empty house, only half-listening to the real estate agent droning on about new flooring, old plumbing, and the leaky roof that would need attending to sooner rather than later. Great. Another fixer-upper. Was this really all they could afford? Scuffed and stained floorboards, ceilings about to cave in... and somebody had gone to town with the paint, every room painted in a more garish color than the last. She suppressed a cough as the musty air clung to the back of her throat. Years of work ahead of them, and tons of money they just didn’t have. She squeezed into the cramped kitchen behind Julie and the agent, who was babbling something about the house having “great bones.” Yeah, right. When was this kitchen last updated, 1975? It’s looked like Gran’s, all avocado and orange. She exchanged a pleading glance with Julie. Please, no. We can do better. Right? But Julie just looked past her, nodding as she took in the gas stove, the cracked linoleum, the orange painted cupboards. Was she just being polite? Or - no. She couldn’t actually be thinking this had possibilities?
Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with omniscient pov. Many, many novels have been written from this perspective over the years. It’s just that, right now, readers crave a closer experience. Omniscient is considered “telling” vs. “showing.” It’s less immediate, less visceral. Even in fantasy and sci-fi, which have been genres where omniscient has been better tolerated, more writers are now writing in close 3rd, and showing the reader how that world works through their eyes, instead of relying on passages of explanations.
In the examples above, the second is more engaging, right? We feel Jenna’s disgust and discouragement as they go through the house. We don’t yet know Julie’s thoughts and feelings, and the next sentence or two will probably tell us whether they’re in agreement or not.
Maybe Julie turns to her with shining eyes, all fired up to bring the old house back to life. Maybe she says loudly, “Thanks anyway, but I think we’re looking for something a little more... modern.” We can use the rest of the scene to dig a little deeper into their couple dynamic. If Julie really wants a fixer-upper, and Jenna is dreaming of a move-in ready condo with all mod cons, a conflict will be brewing. Or maybe Jenna suddenly notices something that makes her fall in love with the house, despite its flaws...and then has to convince Julie it’s worth buying.
To keep in close 3rd person, you need to see the situation through that character’s eyes. After all, Julie could have a very different perspective. Maybe she’s excited about this house, about the potential to make it their own. She could see vibrant colors, funky spaces, and retro charm. It would be a very different paragraph!
We bring 3rd person pov to life through such specific details. It's also good to avoid, where possible, and words that create distance, such as she felt/heard/saw etc. Give it to us directly. And give us the person’s thoughts directly as well. Show us her emotions through her inner monologue, or physical sensations. You can also convey deeper pov in subtle ways, such as word choice and sentence length.
If you’re used to writing in a more omniscient pov, it can be tricky to get out of that habit and dig in deeper and closer. To get going, it might help to write in 1st person pov. Or you can simply imagine yourself as the character, going through whatever situation. If you imagine it more as a movie, where you are simply watching the characters act, you are more likely to slip into omniscient pov.
It’s worth it to try bringing more interiority to the character through deep 3rd person pov. It adds immediacy and intensity to your prose, and makes the reader feel like they are right there with the character, experiencing what they are experiencing. It keeps the reader engaged – and turning pages.
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